Need You Now

It's almost 1 o'clock in the morning here.

I should be in bed.

I'm not.

Surprisingly, it's quiet on my hallway. Normally at this time of night it is quite loud. Tonight I think they're all at the Sigma Chi party, though.

There's something, some little something, floating around in my brain that I can't get out. There are people I want to talk to that won't answer their phones, but even if I got them on the phone I'm not sure how to articulate what's buzzing around in my head.

It's weird.

Maybe it's February. I'm not February's biggest fan. After Groundhog Day, there's not really much to look forward to at all concerning the month since I've never had a significant other/date for V-Day, I don't work for Hallmark or Whitman's, and I'm not in elementary school anymore.

Maybe it's because I don't have StepSing or Spring Rush (or both, like some of my friends) to participate in like 95% of my friends do. The other 5% are either studying their brains out for Anatomy and Organic Chem, helping out with the theatre department, or something else. And I'm kind of left floating around.

Or maybe I'm just in one of those moods. The ones where I'm confused as heck and can barely figure out which way is up and which is down. Where I have the attention span of a flea, so I can't even be productive and do homework. Where I'm calling someone five times hoping they'll pick up when I know they won't. Where I'm staying up until one in the morning writing poems that don't make sense but that I'm going to submit to the university literary magazine anyway.

The mood where I pretend I'm totally fine and sometimes convince myself, but I know that I'm craving something inside, and I don't even have the slightest idea what it is.

God, help me. Please.

Faith. Trust. Pixie Dust.

~Jackie